


For me

by SauleMarron19427



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s06e03 The Third Man, Happy Ending, M/M, Souless!Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 16:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16391528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SauleMarron19427/pseuds/SauleMarron19427
Summary: “I could hear your prayers, your longings.” Cas revealed with hesitation.“My ‘longings’?” Dean repeated.“For a home. For a place to belong.” the angel said. After a pause, he added. “For me.”6.03 : What if Sam compared the Mark left by Balthazar on Aaron's soul to the Mark left by Castiel in Dean's shoulder? Would they drop the subject, or would Dean ask for an explanation?





	For me

“…when a claim is laid on a living soul, it leaves a mark, a brand.” Castiel said.

“Like the one you left on Dean’s shoulder?” Sam asked bluntly.

The older Winchester turned to glare at his brother, but Castiel’s silence made him look at the angel again. Was he hallucinating, or was Cas… _blushing_?

“Not exactly…” Cas answered.

“What do you mean, not exactly?” Dean asked with a raised eyebrow.

Castiel stared at him for a long time, and then looked at the child still on the bed.

“Do you think it’s the time to talk about it?”

And damn it, he was right. But Dean promised himself to not let him ran off after all this.

“No.” he said after a moment. “But if you think you won’t have to explain, you’re wrong, pal.”

oOoOo

Saving the kid became fighting Raphael, and after Balthazar ran off, he came back to the motel, his mind set on having this conversation with Cas – and without Sam, thank you very much.

“If you make me pray, I’m gonna kick your ass, Cas!” he yelled in the empty room, eyes fixated on the ceiling.

The sound of wings was heard, and Cas appeared in the room.

“Dean” the angel said, clearly uncomfortable.

“I think we need to talk” the hunter said. “So…?”

“So?” Cas repeated.

“You know exactly what I’m asking, so don’t play dumb with me!”

“You’re asking if the mark I left on your shoulder has the same signification than the mark left on Aaron’s soul.” Cas clarified.

“What? No! Of course not.” the hunter protested. “I want to know what the mark you left on my shoulder _mean_. I’m not accusing you of anything, Cas, I just want to understand why you seem so uneasy each time we talk about that damn handprint.”

The angel hesitated a few seconds, but he began to talk.

“When I rescued you from Hell, I had to heal your soul during our way back. It was not usual, but –“

“What do you mean? How you healing my soul is _unusual_?”

He felt a twinge of discomfort at the way Cas had turned his sentence. He knew he wasn’t on his best shape when they were coming back from Hell – even if he didn’t _really_ remember it. But did he do something? Something that messed up Cas rescue?

“I didn’t mean it like that, Dean. You didn’t do anything _wrong_.” Cas said, frowning.

His face was softer, more open, but he still looked somewhat uncomfortable.

“When I rescued you, your soul was traumatized.” he said. “And it’s perfectly normal. After all you’ve been through… So I decided to heal you a little with my Grace: it’s not conventional, but not unheard of either. But what was unexpected was the reaction of your soul.”

“My soul had a _reaction_?” Dean repeated.

“It reached out to my Grace.” Cas explained.

And he seemed kind of… Awed? _Weird_ , Dean decided.

“And they melded together. Your soul needed it, so I didn’t do anything to stop it. But when I put your body back together, I had to use another portion of my Grace. The surplus caused your scar, because it’s not _just_ a scar, Dean. It’s a manifestation of the Grace I left you with. Your body needed it to heal, so I gave it to you.”

“Are you saying that I had a piece of your Grace with me since the moment I crawled out of that coffin?” the Winchester asked.

He grabbed his shoulder, his head spinning. He had a piece of Cas in him? All this time? But that obviously didn’t mean anything; otherwise Cas would have told him sooner. It couldn’t mean what Dean wanted it to mean. Absolutely not.

“Well, that’s all?” he forced himself to say. “No harm, no foul.”

But the anged was staring at him, _still_ uncomfortable.

“Cas…?”

“Because you carried a portion of my Grace with you all the time, our connection was different than the ones I have with other humans.”

“Our ‘profound bond’?” Dean assumed, repeating Cas words.

“Yes” he nodded. “But it’s more _profound_ than I told you. I could – I _can_ feel you more potently than any other being in all the creation. Even after I carved the sigils on your ribs, I could still feel you. But I couldn’t let the other angels know, so I didn’t say anything and used the phone you gave me to contact you. And this past year, during our time apart from each other, I –”

“You…?” the Winchester insisted.

“I could hear your prayers, your longings.” Cas revealed with hesitation.

“My ‘longings’?”

“For a home. For a place to belong.” the angel said. After a pause, he added. “For me.”

Dean’s eyes went wide, and he stumbled back a little. But that wasn’t possible. He couldn’t have heard that, right? Right?

“You – you mean you know that I –”

Oh God, that was awkward. Dean cleared his throat, opened his mouth, but he had no idea what to say. And he was starting to regret forcing Cas to have this conversation.

“I know that you have feelings for me, yes.” Cas completed and the hunter gasped. “I’m sorry, Dean. I never meant to invade your privacy, but I couldn’t ignore it and –”

“You know, but you never said anything.” Dean croaked.

“ _Of course_ not. Dean, it was never my intention to talk about this.”

Well, there’s goes his hope. He smiled, fake, and he knew Cas could tell. But he didn’t care. He needed to end this conversation, find the nearest bar and get drunk. Several times.

Maybe he had hoped a little. Because Cas wasn’t exactly subtle in his preference and fondness for Dean. So maybe, when he was feeling really lonely, he entertained the idea that Cas could have the same feelings, that he could want _him_. But clearly, it was not the case.

And who was he, anyway? Who was Dean Winchester, for hoping _an angel_ could love him?

“I was never going to tell you, either. And that was a good idea, considering your –” he didn’t’ finished, a hollow laugh escaping his mouth. “Don’t worry, Cas, I won’t bother you with my _feelings_. I know they’re not – I know you don’t –”

The angel was shaking his head, taking a few steps in Dean’s direction.

“No, Dean, that’s not…” he paused, looking unsure. “I’m not _angry_ at you; I’m not _disgusted_ by your feelings. I’m quite flattered, actually. But it was not my place to talk to you about this.”

“Not your place?” Dean repeated. “You could have –”

“No, Dean, I couldn’t.” Cas argued. “Because the intent is what count. You can have feelings for someone and not wanting this person to find out. You can love someone, but never acknowledge it. You never made me think you wanted me to know. So no matter how much I wanted to – no matter how much I wanted –”

“Wanted…?” Dean urged, licking his lips in anticipation.

Cas’ eyes followed the movement, and he took another step towards Dean. They were standing right in front of the other, chests almost touching.

“To tell you that I feel the same.” Cas whispered. “To touch you, to hold you. Dean, you have no idea how much I want _you_.”

“I think I have a pretty good idea, actually.” the hunter said, chuckling.

One of his hands made its way to Cas’ face, cupping his jaw. He pulled the angel a little, lifted his chin and kissed him.

The kiss was slow and a little unsure. It took Cas a few seconds to reciprocate, but when he did – _wow_. Dean couldn’t remember the last time someone kissed him like this – with force and intent, but also like he was the most precious thing in the world.

“I think we have a few other things to talk about.” he said after the kiss ended.

Cas’ eyes were wide and dark with lust. And maybe he didn’t seem to know what he was doing, but he didn’t look like he wanted to stop either.

“I think so too.” he answered after a few seconds, eyes staring at Dean’s mouth. “But later.”

He leaned in for another kiss, and Dean could do nothing but agree. They could talk later.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it!
> 
> I'm not a native english speaker, so if there's any mistakes, let me know ;)


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